Is 2026 the year of Radical Self Love?

laradias065
Jan 10
5 min read

Or should we be asking the question why we would even consider self love a radical thing?

I was out for dinner the other night with a group of friends. One friend complemented me and I said, “Thank you, yeah I am good at that.” Then someone else jokingly said, in a mocking tone, “Oh Lara, that’s so you, always loving yourself.” I smiled, agreed and carried on the original conversation. I don’t think they meant it with malice, I think this was a projection.

Now, this person doesn’t know that for over three decades I hated myself, to my core hated myself. I would stand in front of a mirror trying to tear chunks out of myself. Physically grabbing my stomach, my thighs, even my face, trying to rip it off. Eating only an apple some days because I didn’t deserve food. I was consistently over analysing every single word that came out of my mouth or that didn’t come out of my mouth. I left every interaction feeling guilt and shame. Why cant I do anything right? Why am I such a failure? Who do I think I am to even exist? Should I exist?

On reflection, I’ve realised this was ingrained in me from childhood. As far back as I can remember, I was taught by school, church and society that I was to drag myself across hot coals and never EVER admit that I liked any of my qualities or that I was a good person. This was seen as pride and a sin. Then to top it off, being in a situation for 4 years which was toxic and destructive, finally tearing my fragile little soul into a million pieces. Like a shattered mirror I had been pulled through by my hair, lying on the floor bleeding, sobbing and whimpering for help. (Oh Lara of 2015, sweet girl, it gets better, just hold on).

Well fuck that. Fuck that! FUCK. THAT.

Its taken a decade to put myself back together, piece by piece. The last 3 years especially, have been ones of intense learning, introspection and acceptance. Its been life changing. Some realisations that have been accepted deeply are: I’m female, a first generation British Indian and I have ADHD and potentially autism. However, awareness and acceptance of these things helps me understand myself but in no way do they define me as person. I am so much more than a diagnosis or the colour of my skin.

Now, I still have a long way to go. Yes the last chapter has been written which was brutal and harrowing, but there is so much more to do. The biggest aspect I now want to work on is self care. Self love and self care are different things but to me, showing myself care is showing myself love.

I spend a lot of my time caring for others with my day job, my business and my natural inclination to want to nurture people. This is not a bad thing but if you do it 100% of your time it’s not healthy. There is such a stigma put on people who look after themselves. They are seen as being selfish, vain or having a big head. I know I’ve been one to judge others in the past, which I am ashamed to say. I now thoroughly embrace being a cheerleader to those that take care of themselves, I admire the crap out of them!

Self-care looks different for everyone, because each person is an individual. The way I’m trying to look at it is, if one year from now I could meet the ideal Lara what would she be. Then I’m working my way backwards from that. I do not want to change myself completely because I am enough and I am fabulous. There are tweaks I want to make and things I want to achieve. I want to nurture myself.

In true Lara style I’ve devised a list of questions, my clients will tell you I love asking questions.

What does a healthy routine look like for me based on my circadian rhythm style?
What food do I enjoy that is healthy, delicious and won’t make me fall asleep, give me brain fog or taste like cardboard?
What spiritually can I do weekly (potentially daily but no pressure) that will nurture my soul and connect me to the big soup?
Who do I want around me that makes me feel loved?
What can I put in place to remind myself of my WHY which I can easily do when I slip?

Awareness, acceptance, action is the key. Then circle back to see if it’s working.

Some ideas have already come out of this which I’ve implemented or will be asap:

Hours have been adjusted at my day job so I get into work early and leave at a time I can get home and walk my dogs. I have time in nature and I won’t get mugged in the park in the dark.
Try new foods! I asked for cookbooks for Christmas that are bright, colourful and healthy. I got given one that wasn't on my list that I LOVE. Its a Goan cookbook that I remember seeing as a child. I can share part of my culture with Anth.
Take time off of work. I now have one whole day a week which I will not be booking in clients, meetings or events. I was working 7 days a week with my day job, my business and uni. This day off is mine and will be spent how I want to. I have and will say no without explanation.
Running!! I love running. I haven’t been out running in so long and I don’t know why. Anth and I both desperately needed the toilet the other day in town and decided to wait until we got home. We ran all the way home and it felt amazing to be running. And also good to get to a toilet, so fricking close to peeing my pants.
Skin care routine. I no longer am ashamed of my brown skin, its not something I feel I should hide or be submissive about. This shame meant I resented washing my face and would never put on creams or go for facials. This is a non-negotiable now. Wash that beautiful latte skin and smother it with love.
Speak openly about being a psychic and a medium. I have a gift and its helped hundreds of clients over the last 3 years. I can help more people. Hiding this hurts my soul. I will no longer hide my witchy ways or the fact I can speak to your dead grandmother who wants to thank you for the care you gave her moisturising her hands in her last hours, that your instincts could be right and you should go and get a blood test done by a Dr for your adrenal glands, that your aching back is actually brought on by repressed emotions from that specific event that happened a few years ago or that job offer is just around the corner and you should take the 2^nd job because it will be more fulfilling. Honestly, it’s like a lightning bolt hits your heart when something resonates with a client and they get the validation and roadmap they need. There I said it. I don’t apologise for it. I’m not here to prove anything to anyone. Yes, I am aware it’s a risk to say this openly because people will brand me crazy, weird or a liar. Oh well, the right people will listen and appreciate it.